STRAW Fail

I saw this at a wedding shower & couldn't resist! FAIL.

5 signs your family watches too much children’s television

 

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#5: Your husband refers to June on Little Einsteins as “the hot one”… and you know exactly who  he is talking about.

#4: Even after 7 years you still haven’t forgiven Steve for leaving Blue’s Clues, and you refer to his replacement, Joe, as “Cousin Oliver”.

#3: You come downstairs in the morning to find your husband watching The Wiggles… and your children are still in bed

#2: You have spent way too many minutes of your life worrying about whether or not Bob the Builder & Wendy are EVER going to finally get together

And finally, the #1  sign that your family watches too much children’s television:

Your 4-yr-old wants to be Thomas the Tank Engine for Halloween. Guess what he was last year? Thomas.  Guess what he was the year before that?  Thomas.  And if Big Brother is dressed as Thomas, guess what Little Brother will have to be?  That’s right, THOMAS.  Not Percy, not James, Thomas.  TWO tiny Thomas the Tank Engines, THREE years in a row.

 

(original list by My Platypus Life)

5 Simple Steps

 

Want to drive your Germophobic/Borderline Obsessive-Compulsive wife over the edge?  

Follow these 5 Simple Steps and you won’t be disappointed~ 

Step 1:    Fill the kitchen trash can beyond capacity so that there is no way possible to get the lid off without spilling garbage onto the floor.

Step 2:    Place a used coffee filter, full of used grounds, teetering precariously on the very top of said pile of garbage.  This will ensure that it will eventually fall to the floor~ creating a HUGE mess and spreading the germs that it absorbed from the garbage.

Step 3:    Walk through the forbidden zone of germs and mess before your wife has had adequate time to complete her cleaning and decontamination rituals.

Step 4:    Proceed to walk all over your ENTIRE house, leaving a invisible trail of germs in your wake.

Step 5:  Wear shoes while you conduct this walk of shame, in clear violation of the~  “We don’t wear shoes in the house because heaven knows where those shoes have been” Rule.  That way you are not only spreading garbage germs, you are also spreading deadly shoe sole mystery germs. 

Enjoy the show!

Two life lessons

Two items in the media really struck a chord with me recently and brought to mind some important life lessons.

Life Lesson #1:  If you jump into a den of hungry polar bears, you should prepare to be EATEN!

A woman inexplicably jumped into the moat of the Polar Bear habitat at the Berlin Zoo during feeding time.  Guess what happened? 

Someone actually got a picture of the attack and it is disturbing.  But you know what?  SHE was the one that jumped in there!  What did she think was going to happen?  (Although I wonder if there may not have been extenuating circumstances compelling her to jump.)  It made me think about all the times I have done silly, reckless things and then felt sorry for myself when I suffer the consequences. 

Life Lesson #2:  Different can be good!

Have you all seen this?  I have watched it countless times and still get emotional. 

I am officially a HUGE Susan Boyle fan now.  I hope she sees ALL her dreams come true. What a brave, talented woman!!! 

As a mother of a child with special needs, who sometimes does not match that perfect little model that the world would impose upon him, this clip spoke to me on a VERY deep level. We live in such a fickle, shallow society.  People are often automatically dismissed if they are deemed too different.  It broke my heart to see that crowd make fun of Susan, and I felt triumphant WITH her when she brought them to their feet.  She SHAMED them.  It made me weep because she doesn’t fit the image that society thinks is cool and yet she ROCKS!!! 

The internet is buzzing about Susan’s performance.  CNN even reported on it today, “Never-kissed woman wows Cowell, becomes YouTube sensation”.  You should read the comments people have made, they are wonderful!  The video also showed up on Give Me My Remote.  I love the comment by Catherine, “You have proven in a showstopping moment how we should not judge anyone on first appearances, nor should we ignore middle aged women and dismiss them as ‘invisible.’ You are magic.”

And as for the audience that made fun of her… well, maybe we should throw them to the Polar Bears!

“You know, from this angle you kind of look like Polamalu!”

Last night was quite eventful for for our household.  The Steelers won the Super Bowl!!!!  Mapman was born in Pittsburgh so he was VERY excited!  Go here to see pictures of our cheering section.  Oh, my 4-year-old, Thomas, said that the “HICKS-burgh” Steelers were playing, so CUTE.  Well, I thought it was cute, anyway.  Mapman was VERY intent on correcting him.  Yeah.  Hardcore fan.  Let me give you a glimpse into what the rest of our evening was like… 

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Goldie:  “You know, it really would  be a great American story if the Cardinals won, seeing as how they have NEVER been to the Super Bowl and are such the underdogs.”

Mapman:  “No it wouldn’t!”

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Goldie:  “Hon, can you please record the game?”

Mapman:  “I could, thanks, but I don’t need to.  They’ll show highlights of the game later.”

Goldie:  *confused pause*  “No… I mean for me…  for the COMMERCIALS.”

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Goldie:  “Which commercial did you like the best?  The Pepsi one with the “I’m all right” dudes, the Potato Head one, or the one with the Transporter guy?”

Mapman:  “The Dorito’s one where the girl’s dress got ripped off.”

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He did like the Potato Head commercial, though.  He laughed a little too hard when her lips fell off and she couldn’t talk anymore. 

Before the game I had let my long-ish brown hair air dry all wavy and was wearing black & gold.  My husband walked by and said, “You know, from this angle you kinda look like Polamalu!”    NOT exactly the look I was going for.

Man, that 100-yd interception touchdown had me SCREAMING!  Mapman kept trying to shush me because he was afraid I was going to wake the baby AND he wanted to hear the announcers.

And can someone please go get the shock paddles, STAT?  Because I still don’t think my husband has recovered from the heart attack that he had during the 4th quarter.  Now THAT was some football!!!!

He was really happy, INCREDIBLY happy, when his team won.  It made me happy to see him happy… although it made me sad to see Kurt Warner sad.  I REALLY like Kurt Warner.  I think he is an awesome person and a great Quarterback.  But I like my husband even better than Kurt Warner.  So congratulations Pittsburgh!  Here we go, Steelers, here we go!!!!!!!!!

PS:  OH  my goodness, I can’t believe I forgot to mention Jennifer Hudson!!!   I was totally rooting for her.  This was her first public performance since her sad family tragedy, and she knew everyone knew it.  She looked SO nervous, took a deep breath… and KILLED it.  Home run.  (I am such a gooof!  Wrong game…)  TOUCHDOWN.  You GO, girl!!!   Dare I say a better National Anthem than Whitney?  I know you made your Momma proud.

My family and I rose for the anthem (I insisted), and as we stood there together, holding each other, I cried.  For her, but even more so, for my awesome Country.

Super Bowl Sunday is coming! GO STEELERS!!!!

Our cheering section!

Super Bowl Sunday is on its way!  I have a VERY happy family.  You see, I married into a frenzied mob of ardent Steelers fans.  My husband, his sister, their parents, and the majority of their family are all from Pittsburgh.  And I was born in CLEVELAND.  The things we do for love!

We traveled out of town the other week to stay with Mapman’s parents & watch the Championship games.  It was amazing how my husband’s demeanor changed after the second game began.  He and his parents were SERIOUS.  There was a lot of emotion in the air.  I don’t think I would be able to handle watching the Super Bowl with them (we can’t anyway).  So much tension, so much drama!  Plus I tend to talk too much during sporting events, and serious sports fans don’t usually appreciate that.

 By the way, as serious as my husband is about football, he still fell asleep at the end of the AFC Championship.  FIVE minutes to go, not sure if they can hold off the Ravens, and he is falling asleep.  Cleveland-born little me was yelling at the screen and cheering with HIS parents, and his head was nodding!  *shakes head* What an old man! 

I honor of the Steelers’ AFC Championship win I spent over an hour (when I should have been doing other things) in the attic rummaging through old baby clothes to find the Steelers outfits my 2 boys wore as babies.  *Sniff* Memories!  I then dressed up their Teddy Bears in their old outfits so that they can help cheer for the team on Sunday. 

 

My sons' bears are now wearing their old outfits. AWWW!

I haven’t been able to find our Steelers flag since we moved… THREE YEARS ago!  Maybe I should finally finish unpacking?

In other random (and humorous) news, there is now a Facebook group called “SUPER BOWL SUNDAY SHOULD BE MOVED TO SATURDAY, OR MONDAY SHOULD BE A HOLIDAY”.  Amen to that!

It should be an interesting game.  Too bad it couldn’t be Philly vs Pitt though, that would have been COOL!  Although, *whispers* I actually like Kurt Warner.  Am I allowed to say that?  But I am still rooting for the Iron City.

I am also looking forward to the commercials, of course.

Super Bowl Sunday, HERE WE COME!!!  Go Steelers!   Come on, everybody do the Pittsburgh Steelers Polka!

Here we go, Steelers… HERE WE GO!!!!

*clap clap*

Quien es mas macho?

Quien es mas macho? –

Mister Roarke… orrrrr… KHAAAANNN!!!!!!!  ?

 

 

I think you know the answer.

Ricardo Montalban, you will be missed.

The most wonderful time of the year!

 

 

Do you all know what the most wonderful time of the year is??  Why, Post-Christmas bargain shopping time, of course! 

I kid… sorta.  Not really.  I am currently fighting off the urge to go out and indulge in another round of frenzied cosumerism.  

I hope all of you had a wonderful, wonderful holiday full of love and laughter.  Our holiday was kinda unusual.  It was a “Christmas Story” sort of Christmas, I will write more about it later.  Short version: it was disrupted by the dreaded INFLUENZA.  Mapman tested positive for it after waiting THREE HOURS at a doc-in-a-box on Christmas Eve.  Junky way to spend that special day.  Not what we had in mind.   Then he spent most of the next 2 days sleeping.  It was lonely sometimes.

By the way, he was the first case of Flu at that office this season, and one of the very first in the state.  Always the leader, my husband.   

I then had to schlep the kids alone to my Mom’s for Christmas Eve.  Then we totally MISSED two family gatherings on Christmas Day.  As disappointed as I was, I still found Christmas and shall keep it in my heart all year through.  I know I have a lot to be thankful for and spent Christmas Day making memories with the three people I love the most (when my husband was awake).  We made very merry, thank you very much.

By the way, I think it may have been good that we didn’t do the holiday family crush as we had planned, which was spending the night at my Mom’s Christmas Eve, & then his Mom’s Christmas Day.  Instead we spread it out and finished family celebrations yesterday because Mapman is finally feeling better (thank you, Tamiflu).  Even with that little bit Percy has been in meltdown mode and really having a hard day today.  I shudder to think how hard things COULD have been on him.  For those of you who don’t know, my son has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Too much stimulation and disruption in routine can create explosive results.

Anyway, the day after Christmas I got to go to one of my very favorite events– the Target HALF-OFF HOLIDAY SALE!!!!!  Do any of you recall the debacle of the post-Easter sale?  This time I went SANS kids.  It was glorious.  I know you want to hear about it! 

My secret is out!

I feel VICTORIOUS!!!!  Anyone ever visit PostSecret?  I had a flash of inspiration on Monday, mailed my secret in on Tuesday, and my postcard showed up that very SUNDAY!  Which would be today, yes.  I SO rock– they posted my secret immediately!  It was the first time I had ever mailed in a secret, too! 

This experience has made me giggle.  I needed a giggle today.  Guess which secret is mine?  I’ll give you a hint… think green.

 

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12/19/2008: 

Want to know my secret???   (drumroll please)