Anniversaries

Last week was the 1-year anniversary of my youngest son Percy’s diagnosis of Autism.  This year I spent that evening in a room at my church with six amazing women, leading a training session for volunteers who want to help with the children in our special needs support group.  What a positive way to spend the day! 

Last year it was not such a positive day.  I was looking back through the archives of my blog and remembering all the complicated emotions I felt back then- STILL feel.  We have had a lot of highs AND lows since then, but I am happy to report that Percy has made some wonderful progress.  His speech, especially the past month, has exploded.  A year ago he mostly only said “ball”.  Now he is talking in increasingly complex sentences!  One of his new phrases is “I Love you”, unprompted.  Oh it just killed us (in a good way) the first time he hugged his Daddy & me & told us that.  What an INCREDIBLE feeling.  He has also started to like to cuddle (when we can get him to hold still).  THANK YOU, God.  It used to break my heart when he wouldn’t let me rock him.  But he has now started to realize that it feels nice… although if he had a choice he would rather cuddle DADDY.  That deserves its own paragraph.

I am a stay-at-home mom &  some days I find being around two emotionally-charged (we call it “not boring”) children utterly exhausting.  I am pretty sensitive myself.  Sometimes at the end of the day when Mapman gets home I am DONE, and he takes over.  He is Mr. Mom a lot of nights, and even takes care of bathtime more often that not (I LOVE that man).  I think Percy may have started to think that I am the babysitter and Mapman is the Mommy.  He now prefers his Dad.  If Daddy is around and I go to push Percy’s stroller he cries, “No, no! That’s Daddy’s!”, or if I try to unbuckle him from the car seat, it’s “No, Daddy can try it!”  Funny use of words, but painful.  I sometimes wonder what it is I have done to cause this.  Maybe it’s because I spend a lot of my day trying to keep up with the mess the kids make in the house.  I do play with my kids, but admit I probably don’t do it as much as I should (show of hands, anyone else feel this way?).  Another part of it, I am sure, is that because of Percy’s Autism he prefers routine.  We joke that he has “imprinted” on his Dad.  I don’t always feel like laughing, though.  I want to be FIRST, I want him to want Mommy most, but sometimes I am just too tired to BE Mommy.  I HATE this.  Actually, that is an understatement.  Few things in life cause me as much pain and guilt as this. 

Okay, enough.  Back to the positive.  Percy is 3 and almost 4 months and is finally almost done potty-training.  ALMOST.  We can’t get him to even TRY to poop on the potty, he asks for a diaper when he feels the urge.  Any advice on how to help that along?  He REFUSES to sit down & even try.  Also, sometimes I have a hard time getting him to wear underwear because that is change, and in the world of Autism change is BAD.   Some days it really upsets him.  All he has ever known is a diaper.  When I DO get him to wear underwear he doesn’t like it if the front is plain & the characters are only on the rear, so he wants to wear them backwards, saying ”NO! Goes right DERE!”  Whatever, not a big deal, looks pretty cute, actually.  Doesn’t change the fact that I am SO proud of my big boy.  I know that potty training can be REALLY difficult for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

5 Simple Steps

 

Want to drive your Germophobic/Borderline Obsessive-Compulsive wife over the edge?  

Follow these 5 Simple Steps and you won’t be disappointed~ 

Step 1:    Fill the kitchen trash can beyond capacity so that there is no way possible to get the lid off without spilling garbage onto the floor.

Step 2:    Place a used coffee filter, full of used grounds, teetering precariously on the very top of said pile of garbage.  This will ensure that it will eventually fall to the floor~ creating a HUGE mess and spreading the germs that it absorbed from the garbage.

Step 3:    Walk through the forbidden zone of germs and mess before your wife has had adequate time to complete her cleaning and decontamination rituals.

Step 4:    Proceed to walk all over your ENTIRE house, leaving a invisible trail of germs in your wake.

Step 5:  Wear shoes while you conduct this walk of shame, in clear violation of the~  “We don’t wear shoes in the house because heaven knows where those shoes have been” Rule.  That way you are not only spreading garbage germs, you are also spreading deadly shoe sole mystery germs. 

Enjoy the show!

I’m not dead

Hello there, bloggy friends!  Just wanted to let you know I was still alive and mostly well… usually.  Thank you to those of you who had been checking in on me.  It was nice to be missed.  I just seem to have a one-track mind (read- ADD, seriously) and have been focusing on other things lately.  As I recently observed about the people in my family, we don’t have hobbies, we have obsessions. And my obsession right now, besides taking care of my family, is the special needs support group at my church. 

I facilitate a support group for families of children with special needs at my church and it is going REALLY well.  Lots of new families, great volunteers, enthusiastic support from the church.  We are on a break for summer but plans are coming together for the Sept-May meetings.  It has been a big blessing to me, and many others from what I hear.  Isn’t it neat how that works!?  It has also further solidified my desire to work in the special needs field when I re-enter the work force.

Let’s see… updates… Mapman and I just recently spent a week volunteering at Bible Camp.  We were given, by design, a group that had a few boys with special needs in it.  Plus my buddy Gus (who I wrote about last year) came back and his mom specifically asked for me!  I was honored &  thrilled.  She gave me the biggest compliment by saying, “This is the one time I know I don’t have to worry about him.  I know he is okay with you.”  Gus had an AWESOME week.  It was amazing to see how much he has matured & grown since last year.  I also fell in love with Mapman all over again because he was INCREDIBLE with those boys.   The perfect balance of discipline & playfulness.  The kids loved him too!

Sad, though, that although Bible Camp made me swoon over my hubs, it also made me want to yell at him.  What an exhausting week!  It took a lot out of me, going there every night, being with so many energetic children who needed to be watched so closely.  I got progressively more & more MEAN and impatient as the week went on.  Kinda like a high-speed version of what happens to a marriage over time when you have a child with special needs.  I get why the divorce rate is so high… even when two people really love each other.  The sandpaper of constant stress wears the marriage thin.

100th post!!!!!

98, 99… 100!!  Took me long enough to get here!  I am also celebrating six whole months of blogging.  Instead of the traditional “100 things” post I think I will just talk about things that make me happy.  More specifically, my boys!!!  All THREE of them.  Did you know I have the three smartest, cutest, sweetest men on the planet under my roof?  

Let’s start with baby Percy.  He has made amazing progress since this blog started.  His language skills are growing at a rapid rate (hooray for speech therapy!), and he has really expanded socially and become very loving.  He loves to run around the house giving everyone sneak attach hugs.  I will be doing the dishes and all of a sudden -BAM- he rams into my legs and hugs me.  Other times he just rushes into the room and starts flapping his hand, waving, saying, “Hi Mommy… Hi Mommy… Hi Mommy…”-  I am finally Mommy, not Bahddie.  His articulation is getting better every day.  But oh how I already miss Bahhdie and Bardeey  (Barney) and Toadeey (Thomas).  Speaking of Thomas the Tank Engine, Percy can name like 50 different characters when you point to them.  Oh, and he can count to fifteen!  Sorta… “twelve, thirteen, fifteen, thirteen!”  Oh, and he can sing the alphabet song!  Speaking of singing, on my birthday recently he actually sang “Happy Birthday” to me!  It was adorable.  Actually, he spent the next few days singing Happy Birthday to me.  Every time he saw me eating birthday cake he stared singing it again.  I am not going to say how often that was *cough- a LOT-cough* .  And he kept saying, “Hoppy baardeey”.  Cute, I tell ya, cute. 

Peace and Calm

I recently came through a series of storms and the clouds have just now cleared enough for me to tell you about it.  It may therefore seem ironic that the title of this post is called, “Peace and Calm”, but that is the whole point. 

Identity Crisis

I have been struggling with some issues of identity lately.  Who am I?  Am I who I want to be?   Who do others need me to be?  And does that get in the way of who I want to be?  I began this blog in part to have something that was mine, something for just me me ME!

I have so many roles to fill and so often lately they seem in conflict. 

What I love about my husband

Today I have an even greater respect for single mothers.  My husband is on his way home after a 4 day absence and WOW I am tired.  I even had some help and I am still exhausted!  Even more so I have developed a new appreciation for my husband and how much he means to this family.