Posts filed under 'family'
5 signs your family watches too much children’s television
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#5: Your husband refers to June on Little Einsteins as “the hot one”… and you know exactly who he is talking about.
#4: Even after 7 years you still haven’t forgiven Steve for leaving Blue’s Clues, and you refer to his replacement, Joe, as “Cousin Oliver”.
#3: You come downstairs in the morning to find your husband watching The Wiggles… and your children are still in bed
#2: You have spent way too many minutes of your life worrying about whether or not Bob the Builder & Wendy are EVER going to finally get together
And finally, the #1 sign that your family watches too much children’s television:
Your 4-yr-old wants to be Thomas the Tank Engine for Halloween. Guess what he was last year? Thomas. Guess what he was the year before that? Thomas. And if Big Brother is dressed as Thomas, guess what Little Brother will have to be? That’s right, THOMAS. Not Percy, not James, Thomas. TWO tiny Thomas the Tank Engines, THREE years in a row.
(original list by My Platypus Life)
9 comments October 1, 2009
Anniversaries
Last week was the 1-year anniversary of my youngest son Percy’s diagnosis of Autism. This year I spent that evening in a room at my church with six amazing women, leading a training session for volunteers who want to help with the children in our special needs support group. What a positive way to spend the day!
Last year it was not such a positive day. I was looking back through the archives of my blog and remembering all the complicated emotions I felt back then- STILL feel. We have had a lot of highs AND lows since then, but I am happy to report that Percy has made some wonderful progress. His speech, especially the past month, has exploded. A year ago he mostly only said “ball”. Now he is talking in increasingly complex sentences! One of his new phrases is “I Love you”, unprompted. Oh it just killed us (in a good way) the first time he hugged his Daddy & me & told us that. What an INCREDIBLE feeling. He has also started to like to cuddle (when we can get him to hold still). THANK YOU, God. It used to break my heart when he wouldn’t let me rock him. But he has now started to realize that it feels nice… although if he had a choice he would rather cuddle DADDY. That deserves its own paragraph.
I am a stay-at-home mom & some days I find being around two emotionally-charged (we call it “not boring”) children utterly exhausting. I am pretty sensitive myself. Sometimes at the end of the day when Mapman gets home I am DONE, and he takes over. He is Mr. Mom a lot of nights, and even takes care of bathtime more often that not (I LOVE that man). I think Percy may have started to think that I am the babysitter and Mapman is the Mommy. He now prefers his Dad. If Daddy is around and I go to push Percy’s stroller he cries, “No, no! That’s Daddy’s!”, or if I try to unbuckle him from the car seat, it’s “No, Daddy can try it!” Funny use of words, but painful. I sometimes wonder what it is I have done to cause this. Maybe it’s because I spend a lot of my day trying to keep up with the mess the kids make in the house. I do play with my kids, but admit I probably don’t do it as much as I should (show of hands, anyone else feel this way?). Another part of it, I am sure, is that because of Percy’s Autism he prefers routine. We joke that he has “imprinted” on his Dad. I don’t always feel like laughing, though. I want to be FIRST, I want him to want Mommy most, but sometimes I am just too tired to BE Mommy. I HATE this. Actually, that is an understatement. Few things in life cause me as much pain and guilt as this.
Okay, enough. Back to the positive. Percy is 3 and almost 4 months and is finally almost done potty-training. ALMOST. We can’t get him to even TRY to poop on the potty, he asks for a diaper when he feels the urge. Any advice on how to help that along? He REFUSES to sit down & even try. Also, sometimes I have a hard time getting him to wear underwear because that is change, and in the world of Autism change is BAD. Some days it really upsets him. All he has ever known is a diaper. When I DO get him to wear underwear he doesn’t like it if the front is plain & the characters are only on the rear, so he wants to wear them backwards, saying ”NO! Goes right DERE!” Whatever, not a big deal, looks pretty cute, actually. Doesn’t change the fact that I am SO proud of my big boy. I know that potty training can be REALLY difficult for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. (more…)
8 comments August 29, 2009
Stories from friends
It is so wonderful to know that we are not alone on this journey. It helps so much to hear stories from friends and share in their struggles and victories. Sometimes, though, they recount experiences that I find so painful, so frustrating, that I wish I could just swoop in and take all their troubles away. These are two such stories, from two of my in-real-life friends. I share with their permission, and will let their stories speak for themselves (in italics). The first is from a mother whose daughter has been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Have you every physically felt your heart break? I did last weekend… (more…)
4 comments July 25, 2009
I’m not dead
Hello there, bloggy friends! Just wanted to let you know I was still alive and mostly well… usually. Thank you to those of you who had been checking in on me. It was nice to be missed. I just seem to have a one-track mind (read- ADD, seriously) and have been focusing on other things lately. As I recently observed about the people in my family, we don’t have hobbies, we have obsessions. And my obsession right now, besides taking care of my family, is the special needs support group at my church.
I facilitate a support group for families of children with special needs at my church and it is going REALLY well. Lots of new families, great volunteers, enthusiastic support from the church. We are on a break for summer but plans are coming together for the Sept-May meetings. It has been a big blessing to me, and many others from what I hear. Isn’t it neat how that works!? It has also further solidified my desire to work in the special needs field when I re-enter the work force.
Let’s see… updates… Mapman and I just recently spent a week volunteering at Bible Camp. We were given, by design, a group that had a few boys with special needs in it. Plus my buddy Gus (who I wrote about last year) came back and his mom specifically asked for me! I was honored & thrilled. She gave me the biggest compliment by saying, “This is the one time I know I don’t have to worry about him. I know he is okay with you.” Gus had an AWESOME week. It was amazing to see how much he has matured & grown since last year. I also fell in love with Mapman all over again because he was INCREDIBLE with those boys. The perfect balance of discipline & playfulness. The kids loved him too!
Sad, though, that although Bible Camp made me swoon over my hubs, it also made me want to yell at him. What an exhausting week! It took a lot out of me, going there every night, being with so many energetic children who needed to be watched so closely. I got progressively more & more MEAN and impatient as the week went on. Kinda like a high-speed version of what happens to a marriage over time when you have a child with special needs. I get why the divorce rate is so high… even when two people really love each other. The sandpaper of constant stress wears the marriage thin.
6 comments July 20, 2009
Silence is not always golden
I am what you would call wide open. If I am in pain I don’t ignore it, I EMBRACE the pain… and talk about the pain to anyone who will listen. I think that it is important to explore our feelings in order to grow and learn from our life experiences, painful or not. I also hope that by sharing my experiences they may be a help to others. I HATE those taboo subjects that no one is supposed to bring up. We have WAY too many of those in my family and I find it exceedingly dysfunctional. I think that we give those painful & awkward things even greater power over us by keeping them hidden. Yes, I know that everyone processes emotions differently, I get that. I just have a hard time when someone brings up a touchy subject and is greeted with an uncomfortable SILENCE. *cricket*cricket*
I have encountered a LOT of this lately when I bring up the subject of my youngest son’s Autism Diagnosis. This has been a life changing event and it has greatly impacted the life of my family– in ways both good and bad, I’ll be honest. So I tell people. I am NOT ashamed. I want them to know about our life so that I can help raise awareness and increase sensitivity. I want them to know WHY I may not attend certain social functions or keep cancelling plans. I want them to know WHY my son (or other children with special needs) acts the way he does so people don’t feel the need to secretly gawk. I want them to know that when they see a child having a meltdown in a grocery store it would be more useful for them to offer to hold open a door, not whisper about “out of control brats & poor parenting”. I want to help reduce prejudice & fight a lot of misinformation out there. And also I just flat out like to talk… and this journey has give me a LOT to talk about!
So Autism is obviously one of my major topics of conversation. (By the way, it is a REAL mood killer at parties!) Recently I have reconnected with a LOT of people from my High School via Facebook, and have told many of them about our new journey. I say something to the effect of, “I am currently staying at home with my 2 boys ages 2.5 and 4 (only 17 months apart!!), one of whom has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. It has changed our lives… and also opened some new doors for me. I am becoming active in disability advocacy and special needs ministry. I facilitate a support group for parents at my church (as a a layperson, but it is good to get to use my seminary training somehow!) and it has been an amazing experience. I am also helping the church start a special needs ministry for the kids and I hope to work in a related area once the kids are older. “
So I am putting myself out there, taking the time to tell people what is going on with me. I also take the time to ask about what is going on with them, too! And you know what I get all too often? SILENCE. (more…)
16 comments February 23, 2009
Super Bowl Sunday is coming! GO STEELERS!!!!
Our cheering section!
Super Bowl Sunday is on its way! I have a VERY happy family. You see, I married into a frenzied mob of ardent Steelers fans. My husband, his sister, their parents, and the majority of their family are all from Pittsburgh. And I was born in CLEVELAND. The things we do for love!
We traveled out of town the other week to stay with Mapman’s parents & watch the Championship games. It was amazing how my husband’s demeanor changed after the second game began. He and his parents were SERIOUS. There was a lot of emotion in the air. I don’t think I would be able to handle watching the Super Bowl with them (we can’t anyway). So much tension, so much drama! Plus I tend to talk too much during sporting events, and serious sports fans don’t usually appreciate that.
By the way, as serious as my husband is about football, he still fell asleep at the end of the AFC Championship. FIVE minutes to go, not sure if they can hold off the Ravens, and he is falling asleep. Cleveland-born little me was yelling at the screen and cheering with HIS parents, and his head was nodding! *shakes head* What an old man!
I honor of the Steelers’ AFC Championship win I spent over an hour (when I should have been doing other things) in the attic rummaging through old baby clothes to find the Steelers outfits my 2 boys wore as babies. *Sniff* Memories! I then dressed up their Teddy Bears in their old outfits so that they can help cheer for the team on Sunday.
My sons' bears are now wearing their old outfits. AWWW!
I haven’t been able to find our Steelers flag since we moved… THREE YEARS ago! Maybe I should finally finish unpacking?
In other random (and humorous) news, there is now a Facebook group called “SUPER BOWL SUNDAY SHOULD BE MOVED TO SATURDAY, OR MONDAY SHOULD BE A HOLIDAY”. Amen to that!
It should be an interesting game. Too bad it couldn’t be Philly vs Pitt though, that would have been COOL! Although, *whispers* I actually like Kurt Warner. Am I allowed to say that? But I am still rooting for the Iron City.
I am also looking forward to the commercials, of course. 
Super Bowl Sunday, HERE WE COME!!! Go Steelers! Come on, everybody do the Pittsburgh Steelers Polka!
5 comments January 28, 2009
Stuff I hate
Hate is such a strong word, isn’t it? I wish I could say “dislike”… but there it is, that ugly word. HATE. I hate some of the things that Autism has brought into our lives. Sometimes I just get SO mad! So over it. I accept that fact that my son is on the Autism Spectrum. I celebrate his uniqueness, try to respect his sensory boundaries while pushing him to try new things. BUT I also get REALLY frustrated sometimes at it all, battle the way Autism disrupts our lives, and I really hate some stuff.
I hate that we can’t go out to eat at a restaurant as a family. I hate that I can’t take my boys to the circus. I hate that I can’t be spontaneous. I hate that our social opportunities are so limited. I hate knowing that people are staring at my son & wondering why he seems different. I hate the feelings of isolation my husband & I get because other parents can’t understand what we are going through. I hate that our situation makes it harder for my husband and me to spend time together.
I hate it when people dismiss our struggles because “it could be worse”, or assume it can’t be that bad because Percy is learning how to talk. I hate it when I tell people that my son has an Autism Spectrum Disorder and they get uncomfortable and change the subject.
I hate poop painting… and the fact that after I wrote the first draft of this I found my son trying to wedge a nugget of poop into his ear. I hate meltdowns. I hate that my son will not eat a grape but he will eat a freaking Lincoln Log. I HATE worrying about his nutrition all the time because he is such a picky eater! I hate ALL this worrying. (more…)
14 comments January 22, 2009
History in the making
You have to admit, no matter what your political views, that tomorrow is a REALLY BIG DAY for the United States of America. The inauguration of the first African-American President. The air is crackling with excitement. You can see sparks of it everywhere.
My family had traveled to visit MapMan’s Pittsburgh-born parents (who have since relocated South). We wanted to be together to watch the Steelers secure their ticket to the Super Bowl… more on that in another post- WOOHOO!!!!! On the way home we were traveling North-bound on the highway and passed loads of military & police vehicles headed to the inauguration. There was a full convoy of military vehicles, all of the soldiers dressed in camouflage. There was also a group of 8 police officers driving motorcycles and traveling in parade formation. They were already honoring the new President en-route, never breaking formality until they pulled up to a rest stop and heard the order “DIS-MOUNT!” It was very impressive, very exciting. Everyone at the rest stop was marveling at them.
Thomas and I walked over to the line of motorcycles and the officers were VERY friendly. One was even a WOMAN! You GO, girl! They confirmed that they were headed to the Inauguration, and I commented on the poor biking conditions. “NAH!” the female officer remarked, “This is a walk in the park on a spring day for us!”
As we headed into the restroom I was trying to teach Thomas a little about our country and the significance of tomorrow. Finally Thomas asked, “When are we gonna see that guy?”
“Tomorrow,” I replied.
“TOMORROW!?” Thomas wailed.
I was very confused as to why he was so upset. “What’s wrong?” I asked him.
“I want him to give us our present NOW! A present for our United States puzzle!”
“Oh, sweetie, not PRESENT… President. And the puzzle we have at home shows the place where we live, the United States. Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. Not a present of a United States puzzle.”
I could hear someone giggling behind us, and an elderly African-American lady emerged. She was beaming and her eyes were twinkling, obviously tickled by our conversation. We chatted about Thomas’s age and the motorcycles outside. “This is an exciting time!” she told us, and was obviously pleased that I had been teaching my child about it.
Her excitement was contagious. It made me happy to see her looking so, well, THRILLED. It IS a thrilling time. It transcends party lines. It is HISTORY and it is EXCITING. The first African-American President. I pray that this can help create some healing and promote a greater sense of unity in our country. I also love the juxtaposition of Martin Luther King Day being celebrated just 1 day prior. How fitting. How deeply moving.
When we got home I showed Thomas some pictures on the computer to further explain the Presidents and a little bit about our country. I found out that Thomas had hoped ”that guy” was going to give us some new pieces to go with our floor puzzle of the United States. I told him that until something changes we will have to stick to 50 (for the 50 states, I know a lot of you are not American).
Later that night in the bathtub I heard him telling Percy about “O-barack Obama, our new President tomorrow.”
“BARACK,” my husband corrected him.
“NO, not THAT, silly!” Thomas laughed, “It’s O-barack!”
I guess I have a little more to teach him.
Postscript- 1/20/2009: So much for racial healing. I just heard the prayer by The Rev. Dr. Joseph E. Lowery… “that yellow will be mellow, red will get ahead, and white will embrace what is right“. Did he really need to go there during the Inauguration Ceremony? I just felt all of the excitement sucked right out of me and I feel sick to my stomach.
21 comments January 19, 2009
Autism and the ER don’t mix!
The vomit monster came to our house again this week. Oh goody. This time we had to do one of those dreaded middle-of -the-night ER visits. THAT was challenging, to say the least.
Rewind to last Friday. My husband, Mapman, had the day off. It was rainy and we needed a change of pace so we went across town to the mall with the BIG play area. 36 hours later, Sunday night, little 2-year-old Percy suddenly coughed a couple times while sitting in the computer room and -BLAMMO- a big mess. Mapman started to rush him to the bathroom and -SPLADOW- Percy managed to hit SIX pairs of shoes… hand-me-down shoes that had JUST been washed and were sitting in the hall to dry, minding their own business. By the way, this is the SECOND time that specific mall has gifted us with gastrointestinal gore. NEVER again! (more…)
10 comments January 9, 2009
