There are not enough words.  I have not been this angry and deeply sad in a long time.  This article describes emotional abuse towards a FIVE YEAR old in what was supposed to be a safe place… the kindergarten classroom.  What is worse is that not only did this child, who is on the autism spectrum, have to endure public criticism from his peers, but it was instigated by the teacher… the very person who was supposed to PROTECT him.  My throat is so tight with emotion it hurts.

I encourage you to read the article for yourself (or the above link).  To briefly summarize:  The child in question had repeatedly been a disruption in his classroom all year, and the teacher finally made him stand in front of the class to confront the issue.  Each child was asked to verbally list things they did not like about him.  Then a vote was held as to whether or not he should be allowed to return to class.  The vote was against him 14-2.  He hasn’t been back to class, OR school. 

This incident should never happen in any classroom, to any child, ever.   According to the mother, the teacher defended herself by saying that “…this was her way of correcting his behavior”.  Honestly, did she really believe that this sort of tactic would help ANY child IMPROVE?  Children perform better if they feel good about themselves and feel empowered!  NOT beaten down and criticized.  I can see how if it was shown some other way it may help a non-autistic child to correct their behavior if they saw the negative impact it had on their peers.  THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO TEACH THEM THAT LESSON!  It should be done privately, gently, while helping to preserve a sense of self-worth.  And even a private peer-accountability tactic might not work with children on the autism spectrum.  They often don’t respond the same to correction as other children.  They sometimes have trouble with impulse control, have difficulty following rigid rules, and may have trouble with empathy.  This teacher is either very uninformed about autism, or was just very frustrated. 

I am NOT saying that we should always make excuses for children on the autism spectrum and allow them to behave any way they wish and not correct their behavior.  This was just NOT the way to correct that behavior.  We have to be more patient and creative and empathetic…and while the teacher was definitely creative (cruelly so), she was NOT patient or empathetic.     

While this speaks to the issue of intolerance and misunderstanding towards those who are not neuro-typical, it goes deeper than that.  NO child should be subjected to this sort of ridicule.  They are so tender and vulnerable at that age.  I just want to cry when I think about the pain that poor boy must have felt, being publicly mocked in front of his peers.  It reminds me of those “slam books” that are so hurtfully circulated in schools today, or the practice of bullying and circulating gossip about other teens via Facebook.  Yet here the bullying was instigated and condoned by a teacher in a public forum.  Humans are so prone to falling into a gang mentality, like an angry mob, that I am sure these children were not immune to that.  Mobs can very quickly become focused on what they are doing and lose sight of the fact that they are hurting people.  I really like what Nicole Buerkens from Horizons Developmental Remediation Center had to say about the issue and how it will not only impact this boy, but his classmates as well.  She asks, “What has this situation taught them about the value of others—and the value of themselves?” 

Children should be taught empathy and that the words we say can hurt.  It is not kind to say all the things we think about people all the time, even if they are true (not that what they said here was true).  They need to learn sensitivity and discretion and patience from their leaders, and NOT be encouraged to say that a peer is “disgusting” and “annoying”.  They should especially learn how to be more understanding of people who are different and learn ways to work together, not engage in dehumanizing behavior and ban them.  And, I’m sorry, a VOTE???  Since when is a classroom a democracy?

This story has been in the news for several days now but I just heard about it.  I was not planning on blogging today, but I could not stay silent about this issue.  My heart will be heavy for this boy today.  According to his mother he started saying ”I’m not special” repeatedly on Thursday night.  I pray that he will quickly begin to heal and he will discover that he IS indeed special.