Thoughts this week…

So many things to say, so little time or energy.  Let me start with “Happy Birthday Percy!!!”

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Little Percy turned 2 this week.  I am all emotional about it.  He is growing so fast, I am already sad that he is heading off to college… in like 16 years!  That night when I put him to bed I lingered as long as possible, not wanting that sweet moment to end.  I was overcome with emotion and wanted to weep a bit, keenly aware that it was the only time I would ever put my baby to bed on his second birthday.  Next time it will be his THIRD birthday and he will be closer to being a big boy.  *sigh*

We are having a family party this weekend.  Notice I didn’t say “small family party”.  My family is anything but small, made larger by divorce and remarriage.  (Thank goodness my husband’s parents are still together or Christmas would be a nightmare!  We already have 3 or 4 Christmases every year as it is).  I am so grateful that everyone gets along now and even, dare I say, likes each other.  It is so wonderful to be able to gather ALL our loved ones together to celebrate happy events.  To see my mother chatting away with my sister is just too awesome (she’s actually my half-sister…my Dad’s daughter with his second wife.  But I just call her “sister”.  Love you mone!  And “second wife” doesn’t do my stepmother justice either).  I know it is not always possible or even healthy for divorced parents to stay friends and see each other at family events, so I feel really blessed that my family has been able to grow to this point.  Thank you Mom & Dad. 

We decided to keep the party contained to JUST family to help Percy not be so overwhelmed.  He can’t handle a lot of commotion, especially the kid kind.  So no buddies, not even close forever family friends and their kids who help us celebrate everything.  That was a tough call, but they understood why I needed to keep it smaller (again, not small, just small-er).  He will get a Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake just like his big brother did on his 2nd birthday.  He is even MORE obsessed with Thomas than older brother is, if that is at all possible.

Speaking of cake, I finally found out why my Thomas will not eat cake any more.  He says it’s dirty.  ”I might get birthday cake all over my hands!”  I told him he could use a fork.  He is taking it into consideration.  It was amusing but mostly sad.  My poor son is missing out on one of the joys of childhood, birthday cake, because of his anxieties (for more on that see “Can you get rid of me?“).  He loves chocolate, but won’t even eat brownies!  Ahhh, the joys of parenting picky eaters.  My friends joked this week that they never see my strapping boys eat, yet they obviously aint starving.  Thank goodness for rice cakes and PediaSure.

And let me just tell you about those friends (Boo and Belle & others, this is for you).  I don’t add new friends very often.  Actually, as I get older I find that my social circle is shrinking.  So to find new friends is a huge delight.  To find new friends who HELP ME and provide emotional support is like hitting the jackpot in Vegas.  I am usually a big ball of stress as I schlep Thomas in and out of preschool because the quick transition and disappointment of being left out is too much for Percy (see Makin’ a Scene).  It is really hard to keep track of TWO preschoolers when one is screaming, crying and thrashing while the other is running off after a buddy.  My friends have been watching the spectacle that is my family all year and it didn’t take them long to just step up and help me.  Without being asked.  I am not used to that.  (I think parents of children with special needs get used to doing it alone and we forget to ask for help.)  Thomas runs away, one of them runs and gets him.  Percy throws a huge temper tantrum while my attention is needed elsewhere, one of these friends just takes him from me and goes off to calm him down.  Wow.  I am tearing up just writing about it because they are such a huge blessing.  I actually am more relaxed now at school because I know I have a safety net of people who will help me if things get crazy. 

I went to the playground recently with several of them and actually relaxed and had fun and chatted with my friends!  Usually there is not time to talk, just chase (see Why I am tired).  THAT was a new experience.  One reason I was able to have fun is that I HAD HELP.  I knew that I was not the ONLY thing that stood between my children and bodily harm.  I had friends.  Another blessing was that they were willing to go out of their way to go to the smaller park near my house so that it would be easier to keep track of Percy and he wouldn’t be over stimulated.  It means so much that they understand some of the struggles my children face and they empathize with me and so are willing to go out of their way to accommodate our needs.  I get so tired sometimes of justifying my children’s meltdowns or explaining WHY I can’t take my boys to McDonald’s.  These people understand.  What a huge relief.  I feel stress melting away when I am with them.   *sniff*.  Thank you, ladies.  I just wish I had the energy to do something nice for you in return.