Once a week my sons and I attend a class called Music Together.  We have been doing so on and off since Thomas was 20 months old and they absolutely love going.  Last week in music class I ended up crying, but not for the reason you think. 

Feeling like I want to cry in music class is not an uncommon occurrence for me, since dealing with both my boys in the midst of so much activity can be an emotionally draining experience.  For those of you that don’t know, my son Percy appears to have some special needs and displays some signs of Autism.  In previous semesters I would sit and watch during class while Percy wandered around the room on the outside of the circle, occasionally stopping to sing, usually oblivious to the rest of the activity in the room and refusing my attempts to engage him.  It broke my heart to watch him be so different from all the other children.  I was constantly on edge because as I focused on singing and interacting with Thomas I was worried that Percy might bite someone.   I spent half the time in class resisting the urge to weep from frustration and sheer sadness.

Please understand that even though I am a VERY emotional person I am NOT a blubbering idiot.  I may get choked up quite often but it takes a LOT to cause me to really cry.  I wrote earlier that when faced with one of Percy’s public outbursts “I am sometimes reduced to a helpless puddle of tears”  but I usually manage to hold it together until I am alone.   But last week was different.  My tears were from JOY, not from frustration.  I saw a totally different boy that day, and my love and gratefulness could not be contained.  It filled my heart and continued to fill my being until it flowed out of my eyes as well.  You see, from the first moment class began Percy seemed eager to fully physically participate, not just randomly sing, and for the first time EVER sat down in the circle and began to do the hand motions with us.  Pat pat pat pat, “Hell-oooo every-bod-ee, so glad to see you!”   He grinned and patted his lap and even occasionally sang with us.  Recently he had been singing a lot more than normal in class but still spent a lot of time wandering.  This time he participated in about half of every song for the first half-hour.  He would take the occasional break for his wanderings but he kept coming back and re-engaging.  I have never seen him be quite so focused or so physically involved.  It was truly amazing.  It is as if a switch was flipped inside him and he was finally getting it.  I was so thrilled and relieved and encouraged and overwhlemed and oh-so-grateful!  I sat and watched this new boy, this happier, calmer boy, and I could not help but weep.   

Percy loves to sing.  He doesn’t care if he knows the words to sing along.  He just opens his mouth and makes a joyful noise in his own unique style.   It is called “AAAAAAAaaaaaahhhEEEEEEEEIIIIIII!!!”  He really gets into it and loves to go for the big finish, shrieking at the top of his lungs, mouth wide open, and straining so hard that the red spot on his forehead pops out.    My son can not use language but he can make music.  Music transcends language.  It reaches into a deep place inside him and unlocks his ability to express himself.  It stimulates him.  It helps him find his voice.  It also calms him, too!  When he is upset in the car all I have to do is pop in a Music Together CD and he stops crying.   I highly recommend taking some sort of music class with your child.  I saw similar results in my older son Thomas when he first started attending.  He was also a late talker but after a while of Music Together his attention span and language skills began improving.  Music Together classes are scheduled all across the country.  You can check their website to see if there are any in your area.  It is a truly wonderful, fun way to bond with your children in a relaxed, educational, supportive environment.  All the parents and caregivers in the class help each other out, reaching out to engage each others children when they wander off.  And they do wander.  Our instructor says that Music Together is “Freely chosen, non-directed”, which means that we as parents participate but let our children choose how they wish to be involved.  They are free to experience the music and the rhythm and the movement and the instruments in any way they wish.  What a gift it has been to me.  Sitting in that room watching both my sons sing and smile and laugh has given me priceless memories.  And last week when I witnessed Percy’s breakthrough it was one of the best moments of my life.  Music Together has truly changed our lives.  

http://www.musictogether.com/Home      Happy music making!!

–