Two life lessons
Posted by: Goldie on: April 15, 2009
Two items in the media really struck a chord with me recently and brought to mind some important life lessons.
Life Lesson #1: If you jump into a den of hungry polar bears, you should prepare to be EATEN!
A woman inexplicably jumped into the moat of the Polar Bear habitat at the Berlin Zoo during feeding time. Guess what happened?
Someone actually got a picture of the attack and it is disturbing. But you know what? SHE was the one that jumped in there! What did she think was going to happen? (Although I wonder if there may not have been extenuating circumstances compelling her to jump.) It made me think about all the times I have done silly, reckless things and then felt sorry for myself when I suffer the consequences.
Life Lesson #2: Different can be good!
Have you all seen this? I have watched it countless times and still get emotional.
I am officially a HUGE Susan Boyle fan now. I hope she sees ALL her dreams come true. What a brave, talented woman!!!
As a mother of a child with special needs, who sometimes does not match that perfect little model that the world would impose upon him, this clip spoke to me on a VERY deep level. We live in such a fickle, shallow society. People are often automatically dismissed if they are deemed too different. It broke my heart to see that crowd make fun of Susan, and I felt triumphant WITH her when she brought them to their feet. She SHAMED them. It made me weep because she doesn’t fit the image that society thinks is cool and yet she ROCKS!!!
The internet is buzzing about Susan’s performance. CNN even reported on it today, “Never-kissed woman wows Cowell, becomes YouTube sensation”. You should read the comments people have made, they are wonderful! The video also showed up on Give Me My Remote. I love the comment by Catherine, “You have proven in a showstopping moment how we should not judge anyone on first appearances, nor should we ignore middle aged women and dismiss them as ‘invisible.’ You are magic.”
And as for the audience that made fun of her… well, maybe we should throw them to the Polar Bears!
The School Dance
Posted by: Goldie on: March 18, 2009
Normally a school dance is a good thing, right? Well, not unless you don’t have a date… or you have to fight for your right to even GO to the dance. Enough talking in metaphor~ I have heard parents refer to the special education school placement process and the subsequent fighting as a “silly little dance”. Well, I am happy to say it appears that my Percy already has his date for the Fall dance! And it wasn’t the fight I was expecting.
My almost 3-year-old Percy has an Autism Spectrum Disorder and is getting school services through our local government. He is currently in the trial run of a program in its very first year, where a few 2-year-old children with developmental delays are placed in a typical classroom setting with typical children (if there is such a thing as a “typical” child). The catch was that when the Special Education Preschool administrators (hereinafter referred to as “School”) were establishing this program they needed to find an existing setting in which to place the kids with DDs. Amazingly, the YMCA offered THREE spaces in their 2-year-old preschool class. Basically, they are DONATING free space in the preschool as a community service. The School’s kids then get to go to the preschool setting & have positive peer models, and both the YMCA teachers AND a Special Education teacher are present! A Speech Therapist and an Occupational Therapist also assist part of the time. What a great teacher/student ratio! Read the rest of this entry »
Blogoversary!
Posted by: Goldie on: March 9, 2009
So apparently I have been blogging for one year today. Wow. A lot has changed in my life in that one year. For one thing this blog went from just a random “Who Am I” blog to also an Autism Awareness blog. Thank you so much to all of you who have been a part of this first year, especially those who reached out to me when my son first received his diagnosis. Amazing that we can share in each others journeys though we are scattered all across the globe. I have encountered so many interesting, supportive, and funny people! Looking forward to what this NEXT year will bring.
I haven’t been blogging as much lately. It’s not for a lack of things to say, but rather a lack of time to say it. I can’t seem to create a post that takes me less than an hour to write. I am a perfectionist like that with my writing. I will try and do better 
I intended to give you some of my favorite posts from my first year of blogging, but ran out of time and I need to go to bed! But I would love to see what posts are YOUR favorites. Please share with us!
Silence is not always golden
Posted by: Goldie on: February 23, 2009
I am what you would call wide open. If I am in pain I don’t ignore it, I EMBRACE the pain… and talk about the pain to anyone who will listen. I think that it is important to explore our feelings in order to grow and learn from our life experiences, painful or not. I also hope that by sharing my experiences they may be a help to others. I HATE those taboo subjects that no one is supposed to bring up. We have WAY too many of those in my family and I find it exceedingly dysfunctional. I think that we give those painful & awkward things even greater power over us by keeping them hidden. Yes, I know that everyone processes emotions differently, I get that. I just have a hard time when someone brings up a touchy subject and is greeted with an uncomfortable SILENCE. *cricket*cricket*
I have encountered a LOT of this lately when I bring up the subject of my youngest son’s Autism Diagnosis. This has been a life changing event and it has greatly impacted the life of my family– in ways both good and bad, I’ll be honest. So I tell people. I am NOT ashamed. I want them to know about our life so that I can help raise awareness and increase sensitivity. I want them to know WHY I may not attend certain social functions or keep cancelling plans. I want them to know WHY my son (or other children with special needs) acts the way he does so people don’t feel the need to secretly gawk. I want them to know that when they see a child having a meltdown in a grocery store it would be more useful for them to offer to hold open a door, not whisper about “out of control brats & poor parenting”. I want to help reduce prejudice & fight a lot of misinformation out there. And also I just flat out like to talk… and this journey has give me a LOT to talk about!
So Autism is obviously one of my major topics of conversation. (By the way, it is a REAL mood killer at parties!) Recently I have reconnected with a LOT of people from my High School via Facebook, and have told many of them about our new journey. I say something to the effect of, “I am currently staying at home with my 2 boys ages 2.5 and 4 (only 17 months apart!!), one of whom has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. It has changed our lives… and also opened some new doors for me. I am becoming active in disability advocacy and special needs ministry. I facilitate a support group for parents at my church (as a a layperson, but it is good to get to use my seminary training somehow!) and it has been an amazing experience. I am also helping the church start a special needs ministry for the kids and I hope to work in a related area once the kids are older. “
So I am putting myself out there, taking the time to tell people what is going on with me. I also take the time to ask about what is going on with them, too! And you know what I get all too often? SILENCE. Read the rest of this entry »
Hello! It’s clearly marked RESERVED parking!
Posted by: Goldie on: February 18, 2009
I recently obtained a Disabled Parking Placard to use when I am carting my son Percy around town alone. It has already been a HUGE help. I only wish I had know about it sooner!
Sometimes parking lots can be a NIGHTMARE when you have a child on the Autism Spectrum. Percy likes to RUN AWAY. This is because he, like many other children with an ASD, does not have an appropriate sense of danger, or fear of being separated from his parents. He often doesn’t respond well to verbal cues either, and keeps running when I see a Humvee bearing down on him and am frantically screaming “STOOOPPP!” We have had lots of heart-stopping moments.
Then there is the whole meltdown issue. Many a time at Preschool pickup I have wondered how on earth I am going to get my TWO boys all the way to the back of the parking lot. I already have a tired & crabby Thomas & hands full of bags. If you add a flailing-screaming-kicking Percy to that, it’s all over. Carrying a child all the way across the parking lot in the midst of a meltdown is incredibly difficult (understatement). Sometimes, when faced with a meltdown, I have simply had to sit in the Preschool lobby and wait it out, exhausted and helpless. This can take a while.
Hooray! It’s “Give Someone a Genuine Compliment Day”!
Posted by: Goldie on: February 14, 2009
I am so excited that today is “Give Someone a Genuine Compliment Day“! Haven’t heard of it? Maybe that’s because I invented it. Yeah, that’s right, I made it up… so what of it? Today still ROCKS!
This day is in part inspired by my 4-year-old, Thomas, who declared- “We love each other on Valentine’s Day!” And then I started thinking… how often do we take time to REALLY love each other?
“Give Someone a Genuine Compliment Day” is also a positive alternative for those of you who HATE Valentine’s Day. I have a few friends, single AND married, who were dreading today. They HATE it. I get that. Single people who don’t want to be single are made to feel extra lonely on Valentine’s Day, and coupled people are under all this pressure to create the the perfect day and feel/be overtly romantic. A woman is set up to be disappointed, and her man is set up to fail to meet her lofty expectations. Feh. Don’t get me wrong, I think romance is good and necessary. But I also think romance operates better when it happens freely and spontaneously, and not under so much duress and expectation.
Let’s think beyond romantic love today. I think it is also wonderful, and SO important, just be LOVING! Read the rest of this entry »
Pity Party
Posted by: Goldie on: February 7, 2009
Put on your festive hat and pull out the confetti, ’cause we’re havin’ a pity party up in here! Oh my WORD, Internets, I am needing some love. My week STUNK! LITERALLY!!!!!!
It all started with a fateful call to my SIL over a week ago, “Yeah, even though there is a lot of drama in my extended family right now… we are doing pretty good in my house. I am on top of everything, and able to handle stress better than I used to.” JINX!
I am happy to report that for the past 2 months Percy had been going through a pretty easygoing period. I had just recently started to relax out of my manic “survival mode”… you know, the one where I am the Energizer Bunny & keep going going going. But in that mode I got SO MUCH DONE!!!! Problem is there is no middle ground for me, so after that I kind of stalled. BIG mistake. I got behind on housework and paperwork last week. This has really come back to haunt me this week.
Things started getting complicated last Saturday when Percy turned back into his alter-ego, Bizzarro Percy (I don’t mean that disrespectfully. I am alluding to comic books… Superman and his alter-ego Bizzarro Superman). At Music Class, which he LOVES, he had his worst episode EVER and it made me so sad & scared. It hasn’t gotten much better from there. He had been like this for about 2 months in Oct/Nov (which prompted me to go on anti-depressants), and then had those 2 good months. So I guess I am in for 2 rough months again. He is back to EXCESSIVE tantruming, hitting, biting, rigidity, destructiveness. It in itself is exhausting.
And of course Thomas was sick last Sunday, and then Thursday BOTH kids got sick. Not only is that time-consuming and exhausting and you worry for your kids but it also ruins social plans. And you know what, when you have kids with special needs you really NEED social activities. No church last week OR this week, we had to cancel fun plans for last night AND tonight, AND it is 60 degrees outside and sunny and I am stuck inside with poop and puke! POUT!!!!!!!
YES, that’s right, the vomit monster is back AGAIN! Oh how I wish it was a 24-hour thing, but NO, it’s Rotavirus. First Percy… in the church hall, then the church bathroom, then the car, then the bathtub, then the bed. Oh, by the way, when Percy threw up in the church bathroom I called for help and the male youth minister came in to assist. You should have seen the funny looks he got when he came out. That is how rumors get started 
. Seriously though, he is an awesome man, a real servant. And then Percy threw up in the car on the way to the Pharmacy and I couldn’t do anything about it. I rolled down the window to let the Pharmacist (who is my Buddy) see a dripping Percy, and he said, “Niiiiice!”
And now the Monster has moved on to dear Thomas. At 1am this morning… and 1:30am… and 2am… and 4am. Thank goodness for hardwood floors and my Shark Steam Mop. Oh, and plastic gloves. I had wanted to mop Thomas’s floor, but not at 2am! Go, go Gadget Steam Mop! To make things worse Percy has now graduated to the leaky and STINKY diarrhea while Thomas is puking so I have MASS QUANTITIES of laundry. I hate messes. I am a germophobe. I don’t think I will ever feel clean again.
So anyway, the point is, I was already feeling sorry for myself because my youngest kept trying to bite me and my house was a mess and I felt overwhelmed and my Christmas tree was still up and now I have EVEN MORE to deal with. Such is life. LOL, I guess I should be cleaning instead of blogging, huh? But this is making me feel better. But I am going to log off now and keep on dealing with my life and its drama. Like Dory in Finding Nemo, I will “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What can we do? We swim, swim…”
Super Bowl Sunday is coming! GO STEELERS!!!!
Posted by: Goldie on: January 28, 2009
- In: Fun Stuff| family| random
- 5 Comments
Our cheering section!
Super Bowl Sunday is on its way! I have a VERY happy family. You see, I married into a frenzied mob of ardent Steelers fans. My husband, his sister, their parents, and the majority of their family are all from Pittsburgh. And I was born in CLEVELAND. The things we do for love!
We traveled out of town the other week to stay with Mapman’s parents & watch the Championship games. It was amazing how my husband’s demeanor changed after the second game began. He and his parents were SERIOUS. There was a lot of emotion in the air. I don’t think I would be able to handle watching the Super Bowl with them (we can’t anyway). So much tension, so much drama! Plus I tend to talk too much during sporting events, and serious sports fans don’t usually appreciate that.
By the way, as serious as my husband is about football, he still fell asleep at the end of the AFC Championship. FIVE minutes to go, not sure if they can hold off the Ravens, and he is falling asleep. Cleveland-born little me was yelling at the screen and cheering with HIS parents, and his head was nodding! *shakes head* What an old man!
I honor of the Steelers’ AFC Championship win I spent over an hour (when I should have been doing other things) in the attic rummaging through old baby clothes to find the Steelers outfits my 2 boys wore as babies. *Sniff* Memories! I then dressed up their Teddy Bears in their old outfits so that they can help cheer for the team on Sunday.
My sons' bears are now wearing their old outfits. AWWW!
I haven’t been able to find our Steelers flag since we moved… THREE YEARS ago! Maybe I should finally finish unpacking?
In other random (and humorous) news, there is now a Facebook group called “SUPER BOWL SUNDAY SHOULD BE MOVED TO SATURDAY, OR MONDAY SHOULD BE A HOLIDAY”. Amen to that!
It should be an interesting game. Too bad it couldn’t be Philly vs Pitt though, that would have been COOL! Although, *whispers* I actually like Kurt Warner. Am I allowed to say that? But I am still rooting for the Iron City.
I am also looking forward to the commercials, of course.
Super Bowl Sunday, HERE WE COME!!! Go Steelers! Come on, everybody do the Pittsburgh Steelers Polka!
Baby needs a new pair of shoes!
Posted by: Goldie on: January 24, 2009
Okay Internets, I need your help. My 2.5-year-old Percy, who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder, has outgrown his shoes. His FAVORITE shoes. The ONLY shoes he will let us place on his feet. And I CAN’T find any more ANYWHERE!
The shoes of which I write were purchased at ToysRUs. Until recently they were not only a toy store but also a Kids’RUs and sold older childrens’ clothing. I had great luck with finding clothes and ESPECIALLY shoes there. They had these great canvas velcro shoes by Koala Kids that looked adorable, held up great, and were even okay for places like church. I would buy one pair for play & one for, well, NOT play. And the price was AWESOME… under $10, and sometimes on sale for $5. I have been buying those shoes for YEARS and both Thomas and Percy have had them in several sizes. It’s no wonder Percy thinks that THEY are what shoes are supposed to be! But alas, ToysRUs has since stopped selling all but BABY clothing items. When I found out I was officially bummed. Now that this problem has begun I am beyond bummed, I am DISTRAUGHT! WE NEED THOSE SHOES!
I tried to google them and could not find anyone who carried these specific Koala Kids shoes. I looked up Koala Kids and even Koala Baby and couldn’t even find a website for the company. I called the 800 number for ToysRUs to see if they possibly still carried them online, no luck. They didn’t even know how to put me in touch with the Koala people. The operator suggested I try KoalaKids.com, but that was also a dead-end. I looked at similar types of shoes online, even Keds, but none were close enough to the Beloved. Plus they were all around $30!!!! So sorry, I am not spending THIRTY BUCKS on shoes for my rapidly growing preschooler!
Some of you who are unfamiliar with Autism may at this point be saying to yourself, “Just MAKE him wear the new shoes. He has to learn how to adapt and do what he is told.” I wish it were that easy. One of the characteristics of Autism is rigid behavior and EXTREME resistance to change. The Autism Symptoms Checklist states that “Children with Autism tend to prefer established behavior patterns and a set environment.” And my Percy wants his shoes!
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