Trains, trains, & MORE trains

This summer my family had the pleasure of visiting the Crossville Model Railroad Club  in Crossville, TN.

 

We were traveling to Nashville and had heard about this incredible train display that was en route and KNEW we had to see it since there are TWO little train fanatics in our house (3 and 4.5 at the time).   It is in an outlet mall and is a whole storefront FULL of different size model train layouts.  Only problem was that we would be driving through on a THURSDAY afternoon, a time when they are usually not open.  I contacted a club member via e-mail about a week ahead of time and inquired about setting up a private train viewing.   His response was very kind, and he said normally they do not do private viewings for anyone but groups.  He continued on to say that they usually have some folks working on the displays almost every day, and if we wanted to stop by in the hopes that we caught someone there they would be more than glad to show us around.
 
*SIGH*.   After a LOT of careful thinking about what to say, here was my response:

Thank you for writing me back! Is there any possible way that, without inconveniencing anyone,  I can be sure that someone will be there that day? I have 2 sons with special needs and I would hate to set them up for disappointment. The reason we want to come see your exhibit is that a family member of mine who was there recently was VERY impressed and knew that my boys would be enthralled. For some reason children on the autism spectrum are overly fascinated by trains… especially Thomas. Our house is full of toy trains. I think it has to do in part with the rhythmic motion of the wheels.  It would mean SO much to them to see it, but I can’t change our travel plans to come there unless I know we can enter the exhibit. Travel with small children is hard enough, even more so with special needs. If it doesn’t work out I understand, but I thought I would check into the possibility.  Any help you could give me would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you so much for your time-

Well, without hesitation he responded that if I called him when I was about an hour away he would meet me there personally & show us around.

When we got there my 2 boys acted like they were walking into Disneyland (cue heavenly music)…

 
 

Especially when they saw THIS…

 

IT’S THOMAS!!!

And Percy! And James! And Harold!!!

The 2 children wearing the train shirts are mine. We edited out their faces for security, so unfortunately you miss out on seeing the look of utter & complete JOY on their little faces.  Believe me when I say they were THRILLED.  Every time a train rolled by they squealed, “HI, PERCY!”, or, “HI, JAMES!”, or, “HI, THOMAS!!!”  They stood at the Thomas table alone for more than 10 minutes~ a LOOONG time for kids with short attention spans.

Turns out our e-mail friend had filled some of the other club members in on our family’s situation.  There were several other individuals there when we arrived and they were ALL incredibly welcoming & kind & friendly & went out of their way to help us enjoy the exhibit and to make us feel comfortable.  I think they were also excited to have such passionate little train enthusiasts to appreciate their displays.  I was so incredibly overwhelmed by the effort they put into talking with us & showing us around.  Come to think of it, they are probably that way with everyone who walks in the door, but it still made me feel special.  Especially when the female member of the club asked me, “I don’t know a lot about Autism. Could you please help explain it to me?”  I could have hugged her.  For her to take the time to ask and try & become more educated showed a level of compassion that was deeply moving.  I LOVE it when people are so open and caring and say, “I don’t understand~ can you teach me?”  The alternative is far worse- those who are made uncomfortable by that which they don’t understand so they say NOTHING & walk away. (See “Silence is not always golden”)       

My children spent a very long time exploring each and every detail of this glorious train land.  They were VERY sad to leave, especially since there was also a Thomas Wooden Railway train table to play with.  I think they could have stayed there forever.  A FABULOUS time was had by all. 

Thank you, THANK YOU, Crossville Model Railway Club, for giving my children such a treat… and for giving their Mom & Dad a special gift with your compassion and generosity.  There are good people in this world.  Just go to Crossville. 

Check out their website! Their hours are Fridays 12-4, Saturdays 10-5, and on Sundays from noon-3pm~ OR by appointment, if you say “pretty please”.  They’re awesome like that.

STRAW Fail

I saw this at a wedding shower & couldn't resist! FAIL.

5 signs your family watches too much children’s television

 

——–

#5: Your husband refers to June on Little Einsteins as “the hot one”… and you know exactly who  he is talking about.

#4: Even after 7 years you still haven’t forgiven Steve for leaving Blue’s Clues, and you refer to his replacement, Joe, as “Cousin Oliver”.

#3: You come downstairs in the morning to find your husband watching The Wiggles… and your children are still in bed

#2: You have spent way too many minutes of your life worrying about whether or not Bob the Builder & Wendy are EVER going to finally get together

And finally, the #1  sign that your family watches too much children’s television:

Your 4-yr-old wants to be Thomas the Tank Engine for Halloween. Guess what he was last year? Thomas.  Guess what he was the year before that?  Thomas.  And if Big Brother is dressed as Thomas, guess what Little Brother will have to be?  That’s right, THOMAS.  Not Percy, not James, Thomas.  TWO tiny Thomas the Tank Engines, THREE years in a row.

 

(original list by My Platypus Life)

Anniversaries

Last week was the 1-year anniversary of my youngest son Percy’s diagnosis of Autism.  This year I spent that evening in a room at my church with six amazing women, leading a training session for volunteers who want to help with the children in our special needs support group.  What a positive way to spend the day! 

Last year it was not such a positive day.  I was looking back through the archives of my blog and remembering all the complicated emotions I felt back then- STILL feel.  We have had a lot of highs AND lows since then, but I am happy to report that Percy has made some wonderful progress.  His speech, especially the past month, has exploded.  A year ago he mostly only said “ball”.  Now he is talking in increasingly complex sentences!  One of his new phrases is “I Love you”, unprompted.  Oh it just killed us (in a good way) the first time he hugged his Daddy & me & told us that.  What an INCREDIBLE feeling.  He has also started to like to cuddle (when we can get him to hold still).  THANK YOU, God.  It used to break my heart when he wouldn’t let me rock him.  But he has now started to realize that it feels nice… although if he had a choice he would rather cuddle DADDY.  That deserves its own paragraph.

I am a stay-at-home mom &  some days I find being around two emotionally-charged (we call it “not boring”) children utterly exhausting.  I am pretty sensitive myself.  Sometimes at the end of the day when Mapman gets home I am DONE, and he takes over.  He is Mr. Mom a lot of nights, and even takes care of bathtime more often that not (I LOVE that man).  I think Percy may have started to think that I am the babysitter and Mapman is the Mommy.  He now prefers his Dad.  If Daddy is around and I go to push Percy’s stroller he cries, “No, no! That’s Daddy’s!”, or if I try to unbuckle him from the car seat, it’s “No, Daddy can try it!”  Funny use of words, but painful.  I sometimes wonder what it is I have done to cause this.  Maybe it’s because I spend a lot of my day trying to keep up with the mess the kids make in the house.  I do play with my kids, but admit I probably don’t do it as much as I should (show of hands, anyone else feel this way?).  Another part of it, I am sure, is that because of Percy’s Autism he prefers routine.  We joke that he has “imprinted” on his Dad.  I don’t always feel like laughing, though.  I want to be FIRST, I want him to want Mommy most, but sometimes I am just too tired to BE Mommy.  I HATE this.  Actually, that is an understatement.  Few things in life cause me as much pain and guilt as this. 

Okay, enough.  Back to the positive.  Percy is 3 and almost 4 months and is finally almost done potty-training.  ALMOST.  We can’t get him to even TRY to poop on the potty, he asks for a diaper when he feels the urge.  Any advice on how to help that along?  He REFUSES to sit down & even try.  Also, sometimes I have a hard time getting him to wear underwear because that is change, and in the world of Autism change is BAD.   Some days it really upsets him.  All he has ever known is a diaper.  When I DO get him to wear underwear he doesn’t like it if the front is plain & the characters are only on the rear, so he wants to wear them backwards, saying ”NO! Goes right DERE!”  Whatever, not a big deal, looks pretty cute, actually.  Doesn’t change the fact that I am SO proud of my big boy.  I know that potty training can be REALLY difficult for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

5 Simple Steps

 

Want to drive your Germophobic/Borderline Obsessive-Compulsive wife over the edge?  

Follow these 5 Simple Steps and you won’t be disappointed~ 

Step 1:    Fill the kitchen trash can beyond capacity so that there is no way possible to get the lid off without spilling garbage onto the floor.

Step 2:    Place a used coffee filter, full of used grounds, teetering precariously on the very top of said pile of garbage.  This will ensure that it will eventually fall to the floor~ creating a HUGE mess and spreading the germs that it absorbed from the garbage.

Step 3:    Walk through the forbidden zone of germs and mess before your wife has had adequate time to complete her cleaning and decontamination rituals.

Step 4:    Proceed to walk all over your ENTIRE house, leaving a invisible trail of germs in your wake.

Step 5:  Wear shoes while you conduct this walk of shame, in clear violation of the~  “We don’t wear shoes in the house because heaven knows where those shoes have been” Rule.  That way you are not only spreading garbage germs, you are also spreading deadly shoe sole mystery germs. 

Enjoy the show!

Stories from friends

It is so wonderful to know that we are not alone on this journey.  It helps so much to hear stories from friends and share in their struggles and victories.  Sometimes, though, they recount experiences that I find so painful, so frustrating, that I wish I could just swoop in and take all their troubles away.  These are two such stories, from two of my in-real-life friends.  I share with their permission, and will let their stories speak for themselves (in italics).  The first is from a mother whose daughter has been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Have you every physically felt your heart break?  I did last weekend…

I’m not dead

Hello there, bloggy friends!  Just wanted to let you know I was still alive and mostly well… usually.  Thank you to those of you who had been checking in on me.  It was nice to be missed.  I just seem to have a one-track mind (read- ADD, seriously) and have been focusing on other things lately.  As I recently observed about the people in my family, we don’t have hobbies, we have obsessions. And my obsession right now, besides taking care of my family, is the special needs support group at my church. 

I facilitate a support group for families of children with special needs at my church and it is going REALLY well.  Lots of new families, great volunteers, enthusiastic support from the church.  We are on a break for summer but plans are coming together for the Sept-May meetings.  It has been a big blessing to me, and many others from what I hear.  Isn’t it neat how that works!?  It has also further solidified my desire to work in the special needs field when I re-enter the work force.

Let’s see… updates… Mapman and I just recently spent a week volunteering at Bible Camp.  We were given, by design, a group that had a few boys with special needs in it.  Plus my buddy Gus (who I wrote about last year) came back and his mom specifically asked for me!  I was honored &  thrilled.  She gave me the biggest compliment by saying, “This is the one time I know I don’t have to worry about him.  I know he is okay with you.”  Gus had an AWESOME week.  It was amazing to see how much he has matured & grown since last year.  I also fell in love with Mapman all over again because he was INCREDIBLE with those boys.   The perfect balance of discipline & playfulness.  The kids loved him too!

Sad, though, that although Bible Camp made me swoon over my hubs, it also made me want to yell at him.  What an exhausting week!  It took a lot out of me, going there every night, being with so many energetic children who needed to be watched so closely.  I got progressively more & more MEAN and impatient as the week went on.  Kinda like a high-speed version of what happens to a marriage over time when you have a child with special needs.  I get why the divorce rate is so high… even when two people really love each other.  The sandpaper of constant stress wears the marriage thin.

Two life lessons

Two items in the media really struck a chord with me recently and brought to mind some important life lessons.

Life Lesson #1:  If you jump into a den of hungry polar bears, you should prepare to be EATEN!

A woman inexplicably jumped into the moat of the Polar Bear habitat at the Berlin Zoo during feeding time.  Guess what happened? 

Someone actually got a picture of the attack and it is disturbing.  But you know what?  SHE was the one that jumped in there!  What did she think was going to happen?  (Although I wonder if there may not have been extenuating circumstances compelling her to jump.)  It made me think about all the times I have done silly, reckless things and then felt sorry for myself when I suffer the consequences. 

Life Lesson #2:  Different can be good!

Have you all seen this?  I have watched it countless times and still get emotional. 

I am officially a HUGE Susan Boyle fan now.  I hope she sees ALL her dreams come true. What a brave, talented woman!!! 

As a mother of a child with special needs, who sometimes does not match that perfect little model that the world would impose upon him, this clip spoke to me on a VERY deep level. We live in such a fickle, shallow society.  People are often automatically dismissed if they are deemed too different.  It broke my heart to see that crowd make fun of Susan, and I felt triumphant WITH her when she brought them to their feet.  She SHAMED them.  It made me weep because she doesn’t fit the image that society thinks is cool and yet she ROCKS!!! 

The internet is buzzing about Susan’s performance.  CNN even reported on it today, “Never-kissed woman wows Cowell, becomes YouTube sensation”.  You should read the comments people have made, they are wonderful!  The video also showed up on Give Me My Remote.  I love the comment by Catherine, “You have proven in a showstopping moment how we should not judge anyone on first appearances, nor should we ignore middle aged women and dismiss them as ‘invisible.’ You are magic.”

And as for the audience that made fun of her… well, maybe we should throw them to the Polar Bears!

The School Dance

Normally a school dance is a good thing, right?  Well, not unless you don’t have a date… or you have to fight for your right to even GO to the dance.  Enough talking in metaphor~ I have heard parents refer to the special education school placement process and the subsequent fighting as a “silly little dance”.  Well, I am happy to say it appears that my Percy already has his date for the Fall dance!  And it wasn’t the fight I was expecting.

My almost 3-year-old Percy has an Autism Spectrum Disorder and is getting school services through our local government.  He is currently in the trial  run of a program in its very first year, where a few 2-year-old children with developmental delays are placed in a typical classroom setting with typical children (if there is such a thing as a “typical” child).  The catch was that when the Special Education Preschool administrators (hereinafter referred to as “School”) were establishing this program they needed to find an existing setting in which to place the kids with DDs.  Amazingly, the YMCA offered THREE spaces in their 2-year-old preschool class.  Basically, they are DONATING free space in the preschool as a community service.  The School’s kids then get to go to the preschool setting & have positive peer models, and both the YMCA teachers AND a Special Education teacher are present!  A Speech Therapist and an Occupational Therapist also assist part of the time.   What a great teacher/student ratio!

Blogoversary!

So apparently I have been blogging for one year today. Wow.  A lot has changed in my life in that one year.  For one thing this blog went from just a random “Who Am I” blog to also an Autism Awareness blog.  Thank you so much to all of you who have been a part of this first year, especially those who reached out to me when my son first received his diagnosis.  Amazing that we can share in each others journeys though we are scattered all across the globe.  I have encountered so many interesting, supportive, and funny people!  Looking forward to what this NEXT year will bring.

I haven’t been blogging as much lately.  It’s not for a lack of things to say, but rather a lack of time to say it.  I can’t seem to create a post that takes me less than an hour to write.  I am a perfectionist like that with my writing.  I will try and do better  

I intended to give you some of my favorite posts from my first year of blogging, but ran out of time and I need to go to bed!  But I would love to see what posts are YOUR favorites.  Please share with us!